Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
