Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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