Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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