It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
