i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
