Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
