Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
honey bunches of taint.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
