I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
