Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
