Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
