Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Someone shattered a urinal.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Randomize
