dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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