Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
