where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
