Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
