when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
