if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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