i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
