The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
