i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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