fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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