I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
