we're blogging at a bar
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
