East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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