if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
