Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
