Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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