I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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