another moral hangover. fuck.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
If I die, sorry about rent.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
