is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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