He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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