so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Randomize
