maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
