I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
