I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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