seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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