i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
