There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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