is wine microwaveable?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
