why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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