I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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