We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The uberlube is also flammable
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
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