i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
