I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
