ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
