You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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