You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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