i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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