all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
