i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
