Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
