some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
